Thursday, July 17, 2008

The Harvest Moon is on the Horizon.

I read today that to celebrate Natsume's game, Harvest Moon's tenth anniversary, yet another two Harvest Moon games will be joining the already-swollen ranks.

At this point, I'm not really sure what to think. I'm a huge fan of simulation/rpgs, don't get me wrong, because in middle school i definitely use to wake up early so I could play my hacked copy of Pincess Maker 2 before going to school. However, the idea of more Harvest Moons just seems to be beating a dead horse, which in the Wii release, your horses can die from neglect causing the townspeople's opinion of you to drop. While that does seem pretty amazing, I'm not sure I can see myself spending whatever the price tag ends up being on August 26th for the chance to hoe, plant, and water with whatever Wii remote action they decide corresponds to that.

I sat at work for the next thirty minutes, engaged in a debate, struggling in the pursuit of a for or against attitude to the new releases. What follows is the debate between my Harvest Moon shoulder devil and angel:

Devil (Against): This game is a perfect example of how out of control our consumer culture is! Do we really need to spend another thirty, forty bucks so we can farm one more time?!

Angel (For): Shut up, you're boring - besides, with the Wii Remote, you can actually do the work!

Devil: So it should actually be called Harvest Moon: Tree of Unpaid Manual Labor?

Angel: There's an ostrich!

Devil: Unless it shoots lazers out of its eyes, then it's just a horse with feathers.

Angel: But you run a farm, and build a family, make money and buy things.

Devil: Uhh, too close to real life - I need escape, and explosions!

Angel: You like it when you make money and buy things in World of Warcraft


Angel: But it's an explosion of cuteness!

Devil: Eh, I’ve got this

Angel: Sabrina's pretty cute.

Devil: Eh, she's the poor man's Maria Besides, WTF is she talking about??!!? Um, no, Sabrina, I have no idea what you mean. I'm leaving you here on this beach.

Angel: Whatever, like you don’t still secretly play it.

Devil: So?

Angel: Mmhmm.

Devil: I can’t help myself!

Angel: That’s what I thought.


So maybe the debate didn’t quite take thirty minutes or maybe I had to do work in between points of the debate or maybe, just maybe, I'm actually sitting here, daydreaming about myself in front of my TV, wildly swinging my arms, watering my crops and saving up for that ostrich . . . I can always just imagine the Lazer Eyes.


Monday, June 30, 2008

wizard academy

so here's this paper i wrote a while back.

As we moved into our study of cyberpunk, I found myself wishing that I too could “jack in” and ride hack programs into fortresses of code or dismember an adversary in the most exclusive club on the metaverse. I would even settle for goggles instead of my monitor so that I might be able to increase my interface with my machine. Then I set Snow Crash down, put on my headset (headphones and microphone), logged into World of Warcraft, a popular massive multiplayer online role playing game (MMORPG), and killed a rabid bear with nature magic while talking to a friend in Paris. Four months ago, this series of events would not have given me a moment’s pause, but the course of our reading has given me a new lens to view this situation. I am the beginning of the realization of the cyberpunk’s prophecy. What does this mean for my generation? After all, we are the generation that straddles the time before internet and the internet-riddled present. Those older than us can throw their hands up and shrug, claiming to be incapable of understanding the intricacies of the web. Those younger than us are now learning how to easily surf the web shortly after they progress from liquid to solid foods. That leaves us, the generation that was something before the proliferation of the internet and now, in our vulnerable years of definition, we are forced to ask ourselves just who we are with the addition of this technology. Perhaps this is why I keep noticing the pattern of identity questioning in the cyberpunk’s work. Who are these characters and how do they define themselves and more importantly, what role does technology play in these character’s definitions of themselves?
In Neuromancer, the character Case serves as one of our studies for the redefinition of identity directly involved with technology. He makes delineations between meat, drug flesh, jacked in, and simstim. These four categories provide two schools of comparison. Meat and drug flesh exist within his own body and value is attached to each. Meat experience is the ultimate low for a cowboy who is use to experiencing the world within the Matrix. Case only uses it to refer to his life without the ability to jack in and contrasts it with his drug flesh. When in drug flesh he seems to not mind the mundane corporeal existence. Perhaps this is due to the heightened sensory experiences being like that of the Matrix. He chooses ups for his drug in an attempt to push past the boundaries of “meat” and experience more than what the world has to offer. Are these drug experiences actually his own or are they the chemical’s? Can he say, “I did this” or if he were interested in accuracy would he be forced to admit “Betamphetamines did this.” If one’s identity is based on his experience then would Case be able to say that he did and was all the things that occurred while up or would he need to refer to himself as two separate entities (meat and drug flesh) as Gibson has him do? This question is taken further with the inclusion of another form of experience. Jacking in is the only thing Case misses about life and seeks it above all other forms of consciousness. In this form touched only with the mind, keyboard, and monitor, he is truly comfortable and confident. Is this then who Case really is? Is he just a bit of information within an even greater web of information? Case’s physical form had two separate entities and his information self posses two as well with the simstim contrasting the jacked in. If being jacked in were equivalent with drug flesh then Case’s simstim experiences would without a doubt be on par with the level of meat. Case is hesitant to leave the world of information for empirical experience through flipping into Molly’s consciousness. It is a return to the gritty world of human experience even though it is like existing as a true to life action hero(ine). Are these experiences Case’s own? Did he lose miserably to Hideo in Straylight Run? Was his leg broken as he was fighting with the Guards of Sense/Net? Is Case perhaps an odd cocktail of all these experiences; Meat, Drug Flesh, Jacked In, and Simstim?
Molly serves as another form of altered identity. Hey physical self exists as the housing of various cybernetic enhancements that function to alter her body’s ability to receive and process stimulus. One must recognize the situations she encounters because of these nonorganic alterations shape her reality and identity. If we accept Case’s technological experiences as part of his identity, then we must also permit Molly’s. This stretches this concept to a more physical/personal level. Case’s altered experiences required the aid of machines as do Molly’s , but Molly’s machines are hidden inside and part of her flesh, tucked away from the naked eye so that it is easy to see Molly’s situation as more “natural.”
In Snow Crash, the internet/metaverse has been made available to the masses. One can access the ‘verse from public terminals, cellular connections, laptops, or even equipment strapped to the body in the case of the gargoyles. No longer is the technological experience for the elite few for in Stephenson’s mind he can see the ease and accessibility that will come from a system such as this. Both Hiro and Y.T. are familiar with the navigation of this system, but in the case of Hiro, the Metaverse is the basis of his identity. He is better known there than in reality and prefers to spend his time there as Y.T. admonishes him several times to stop being a “goggle head” and spend some time in the real world. However, Stephenson draws a strong separation between the metaverse and the actual world. Hiro laments the fact that he could jump into speakers that are playing Vitaly Chernobyl and travel back to LA by wire but he is bound by his corporeal form. There is not the same possibility to exist as a collection of data as there is in Neuromancer.
As technology progresses, the limitations of the human body are in some cases removed completely, allowing us to participate in things completely outside of our normal realm. Is a person’s character on World of Warcraft actually an extension of themselves, allowing them to experience events they otherwise would be unable to? Am I actually not just Jared Dawson but a level twenty six night elf druid as well and if so how am I to mesh those experiences with my own into my own cocktail of consciousness? While jacking in, simstim, the metaverse, and experiencing the alternate universe of an artificial intelligence while brain dead may seem like impossible ideas, they are really just extensions of what is occurring in our day and time. We have Second Life, World of Warcraft, Maple Story, and countless other MMOs that allow us to transcend this world of flesh and live out another existence full of relationships, commerce, responsibility, and etiquette. The question is not how far this will go but will it ever stop in progression and how do we as humans define ourselves as we move into a time of identity that has a diminished reliance on our physical selves?

Wednesday, June 25, 2008


Two things.


I just got a call at work and the Caller ID, said the location calling me was "Scientific Game." I immeadiately thought of ender's game and the boys zapping around battling in their anti-gravity chamber . . . anyways. It was just some poor schmuck of a telemarketer trying to press AT&T on us.

Bish, plz.


I've been getting caught up on season four of battlestar galactica. So far I've made it to episode six. I now know that my body can survive 42 minute time periods of streaming internet video without my having a heartbeat. Seriously, I wish at least one other wizard read this so we could squak at each other comment-style.


Friday, June 6, 2008


why am i not in arkansas?

why am i not and Henderson State University?

why am i not part of this

Wednesday, June 4, 2008


Ryan: bring them to me alive and unspoiled....
me: ha
Ryan: its what saurmon said to the uru kai
about the hobbits
the chase has begun
Sent at 3:55 PM on Wednesday
me: hahahahaha
Ryan: now the master dwarf is needing rest
me: is it sleepy time king dwarf?
Ryan: yes
and frodo has disappeared
and bromir as well
me: noooooooooessssssssssss
Ryan: you know what that means!!!
me: hahahaha
i knew it!
Ryan: bromir is telling frodo about the other ways and other paths that he could take
me: two paths in a yellow wood?
Sent at 4:00 PM on Wednesday
Ryan: he just tried to rape frodo but frodo ran away
Sent at 4:01 PM on Wednesday
me: did he use the ring?
Ryan: yep
and now all of the bad guys are coming
me: whew. good
Ryan: bromir is about to die
me: the eye is upon him!
Ryan: he just sounded the horn
berrm thats what is sounds like berhhhmmmp
but x3
me: ahahahahahahaha
that's so many toots
Ryan: but its true
Sent at 4:07 PM on Wednesday
me: i do not doubt it!
Ryan: he just got shoot
me: so many arrrowzzzzzzzzzzzzz
they are in my chest
Ryan: right in the kisses
me: how many kisses?
Ryan: i dont know yet lemme see
Ryan: bromir has 3 kisses so far
now 4
me: ahahahahahahaha
Ryan: lol
wait maybe its just 3 kisses
me: and one to grow on?
Ryan: now aragon came in a chopped off the guys head
now hes about to kiss bromir
me: that'll make frodo jealous
frodo is a jealous mistress
he didn't use to be like that. it's that ring. and that wound
they've turned him into a wicked little jezebel
Ryan: lol
kisssy kissy
now hes dead
me: no more kissies
Ryan: its the kiss of deeath
me: hisssss
of death
Ryan: fodos about to leave
but sam is following
me: he's heartbroken
his lover is gone
but sam is glad that he can move in on frodo
Ryan: hell try to drown himslef
Ryan: frodos nose is cute
me: they'll have the dirty dirty at elevensies
Ryan: what is that
me: and second breakfast of frodo
Ryan: the fellowship has split
Ryan: whoop whoop time for the next movie
me: they're all jealous over frodo's sweet loving
Ryan: lol ok
Ryan: now im gonna watcht les deux tours
Sent at 4:29 PM on Wednesday
Ryan: smeagol smmmekkgal
me: did he trade his o's for k's?
did he become russian?
Ryan: lol
the EYE
is upon us
or at least mr frodo
me: it's the eye of the baptist church
Ryan: lol
me: they know of frodo's lovers
Ryan: and as frodo says the burden is getting heavier
me: ahahahahaha
Ryan: then they bring out the lambus bread
me: and only smeagol knows of sam's plan to roofie frodo
Ryan: limbus
i think
what is roofie?
me: that's why he calls him tricksy
to roofie someone
you know
drug them
Ryan: ahh ok
Ryan: okok
me: tell me a story in the meantime
Ryan: well i can tell you whats happing in the film
smeagol just joined in so now its a threesome
theyre all rolling around on the ground
whoo smeagol is ruff
Sent at 4:35 PM on Wednesday
Ryan: no smeagol is groaning like crazy
Sent at 4:36 PM on Wednesday
Ryan: theyre getting freaky now, thy just tied golem up
Sent at 4:38 PM on Wednesday
Ryan: now they are in rohan
the king is creepy
Sent at 4:46 PM on Wednesday
Ryan: wispering trees
Sent at 4:50 PM on Wednesday
Ryan: now crazy crazineess with the riders of rohan and they are saving the hoppits and the hoppies are running into teh forest
Sent at 4:52 PM on Wednesday
Ryan: its sad now
they think that their friends are dead
that tey got kieed by the riders
Sent at 4:56 PM on Wednesday
Ryan is offline. Messages you send will be delivered when Ryan comes online.

Friday, May 30, 2008

oh. my. god.

there is a woman in my salon who sounds just like Bea Arthur.


i want her to stay and talk all day long and i'll imagine it's her.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

battledome rap showdown, auntie officiated

11:32 AM aubreylc: ballin'
me: shot callin'
11:33 AM aubreylc: bitches be fallin'
when they see you rawlin'
me: just strawlin'
down the pafement
11:34 AM aubreylc: locked up like the ho in the austrian sub-basement
11:35 AM jiji taking GRE to be in the top placement
but my rhymes be sick and dat be blatent
me: and my input has been most latent
11:36 AM and these times they be changin'
oh, slant rhyme, it is your time
time to shine with internal rhyme
i will roll and jiji climb
11:39 AM aubreylc: fine, but slant shit aint like mine,
walking in the woods smellin' pine
-sol, while i fall, into a wall
11:40 AM makes me crawl, bitin' heads off ya doll
11:41 AM me: that makes no sense,
i demand recompense-
yours be like a bear in heat
that has took suck from liquor's teat?
if that the case then you best erase
those last lines
cause they be a crime

13 minutes
11:55 AM aubreylc: listen to you ramblez, like a wild horse stuck and bleedin' ta death in da bramblez/ you just can't lite them bluntz or hold up a candlez, cuz next ta me ya just pan-handlez

7 minutes
12:02 PM me: when this lesson get to be geography
talking panhandles with a z
when what you say makes me want to z. z. zzzzz. zzzzzzz.
so go on git, go off and buzz
or else i'll be callin the fuzz
12:07 PM has joined has joined
me: jiji wants to flow
and everyone needs to know
that jiji's rhyme come from the east
jinabkim: my rhymes are as slanted as my eyes
12:09 PM aubreylc: lolz
jinabkim: and as ecstatic as my thigh
aubreylc: but when you frontin' you just full of lies
jinabkim: look at these thighs of ecstasy
aubreylc: runnin home to mama whilst you cry cry cries
jinabkim: your gams can't even get next to me
aubreylc: alpharetta, you think ya betta?
12:10 PM me: ooooh good one
jinabkim: it's so cold out I need a sweata
you say you a knight but I think you just a pawn
me: alpharetta, imma call you out
sittin in the north with all your clout
why you steal atlanta's money
sucking up our sweet tax honey
you can't hear the children cry
wrapped in your castles
jinabkim: dang
I was in the middle of my cubsey diss
12:12 PM me: use shift+enter to cohere your diss
jinabkim: haha
I need to cohere my diss
12:13 PM aubreylc: (thanks jared,, i couldn' figure that out)
12:14 PM this contest is a piss
ya'll should take ur seats and hold onto your meats
12:15 PM jinabkim: Krystal knight? More like pawn of cubic zirconia
You think you authentic but you so phony, yeah
Your quartz formation is a crime to the nation
And your rhyme scheme is a sorry situation
12:16 PM what you say, speak up quick
i think your mouth's
full of shaun's dick
your argument is starting to crumble
cause i can't understand penis mumble
jinabkim: hahahahaa
me: jujube, it's tag team time
let's see kub-z retort in rhyme
12:17 PM jinabkim: too busy with the crystals
to shoot us with his rhyming pistols
aubreylc: it be so busy,
ya'll got be in a tissy
12:18 PM i wanna fight fire wit fire, but ya'll gunna git me fired
(i know lame rhyme)
(but i am secretly hatin' yall)
and will return, for ur turn
jinabkim: hahahaaa
me: hahahahaha
12:19 PM is it monsoon season
and i ask for one reason
cause kub=z be burried
like manilla in a mudslide
jinabkim: haha
I'll be the hip-hop nazi
what say for a game of yahtzee
12:22 PM we'll invite fonzie and potsie
12:23 PM me: yahtzee?
that game is shit
make it parcheesi
and make it quick
jinabkim: what about a game of the apple variety
12:24 PM we all love it so, and don't lie to me
but we must be drunk, no sobriety
me: hahahahaha
jinabkim: and rahul will make pia sob quietly
12:25 PM me: that bitch suffers chronically
cause she offends us all karmicly
12:26 PM aubreylc: OH HELL NOZ!
ya'll be a tag team of hoz,
dogz, betta back the fuck up,
gunna yank yur choke chain/cokekain like yuz a pup,
lassie and jub jub,
think ya sassy but ya tub tub,
when i'm done ur gunna blub blub
callin leo for a rub rub
me: hahahahahah
jinabkim: getting krunk in the klub klub
me: gonna smash yer fugly mug mug
12:27 PM aubreylc: mockin me is cool, but you fuck wit my man and us a fool
while i'm choking on cock, you getin fucked on the block
jinabkim: ahahahaha
aubreylc: now ya'll can't talk
take a walk
yea, son a walk
12:28 PM me: your man be smeagol cause he gots a ring
and now you his private plaything
sitting the dank dark cave
might as well be a grave grave

hope ya like raw fish
wanna hear you say delish
12:29 PM jinabkim: what he gon' do? serve me up with some hashbrowns?
i'll fry it over easy and make him look like an ass clown
because son, I got talkin' trash down
aubreylc: u think this gunna make me cry?
u think this gunna make me die?
12:30 PM jinabkim: serve me some free french fries
to compensate for all your lies
is this what it sounds like when krystal kries?
me: no fool, you need a heart to die
and i never expect tears from your eye
you've got aluminum under that skin
it's what holds your circuts in

12:31 PM jinabkim: someone diss me for chrissakes
12:32 PM me:
your name a snack
and i wonder whether you can
weather this attack
cause i'mma sneak up on your back
ninja style
wait for a while
then diss yo style
cause what you got you stole from me
a tee hee
a tee hee hee
12:37 PM jinabkim: you a dirty-clean hybrid?
more like a poseur and a spy kid
your mata hari act brings tears to my eyelid
12:38 PM me: hahahahaha
jinabkim: they be made of pizza so listen and I'll teacha
12:39 PM if you diss me I'll find yo' ass and I'll beat ya
12:41 PM me: beat me with your tiny fists?
don't struggle or i'll break yo writs
you just mad cause you've got no tryst
so next time we're out
allow my assist.
you best not attack a wingman
or else you'll find a secret slam
the next time you play yo game
12:42 PM your stature small and features fine
but you best not draw any lines
and dare me cross
cause then you're lost
cause i come from the scottish highlands
and my stocky body is made for slams
12:43 PM body, verbal, i multi talented
jinabkim: you be talkin' just like yoda
signifying your paltry flow-da
now sit down while I grab a soda
me: girl, drink that aspatame
cause you know your flow is lame
it's not spinach
and you're not popeye
so why don't you hurry up and finish
12:48 PM jinabkim: Kub-z is typing
it's time to start griping
12:49 PM me: his words'll be welcome
cause my ass needs wipin
12:50 PM aubreylc: while ya'll chillz,
i be makin mad billz,
your hair is wack and u dress like a geek,
my shoes cost more than u make in 2 weekz
just sold some ear bling for 22k,
u sitin at home watchin rachel ray
12:51 PM i'm a holla to the bank cuz it'z ma payday, tonight i'm gunna fuck ma man with a solid gold dildo cuz we gay gay gay.
12:54 PM me: ahahahahahahaha
sooo goood
12:55 PM jinabkim: you gotta use a dildo cuz your dick don't satisfy
maybe your man needs a warm latticed pie
and if you don't get the metaphor than you're a foolish whore
12:56 PM and your brain looks like a genital sore
aubreylc: i gotz to go to star provision,
so ya bitches betta listen
i killz u till u dies,
gunna has hamburgerz n friez
12:57 PM me: hahahahaha
12:58 PM aubreylc: gus gus aint the only one who in da doghouse,
u step in ma house u best be quiet as a mouse
12:59 PM what was once intended was a pun,
go on git muzzle mutt i gotz a shotgun
1:00 PM me: i don't even have the energy to retort
jinabkim: me neither